20 unspoken laws of Golf
LAW # 1: no matter how bad Your last blow is, the worst is yet to come. This law does not end on the 18th hole, because it has an uncanny tendency to extend throughout the tournament, the season, and, ultimately, for life.
LAW # 2: Your best Golf game will immediately follow the worst in Your life. The probability of this is directly proportional to the number of people you told about your failure.
LAW # 3: Brand-new Golf balls are hydro-magnetic. Although this cannot be proven in the laboratory, it is a well – known fact-the higher the cost of a Golf ball, the more it is drawn to the water.
LAW # 4: a Golf Ball never bounces off a tree back into play. If this happens, it means that this tree violates the law of the universe, and it must immediately be cut down.
LAW # 5: Regardless of the reasons that caused the golfer to spoil the shot, all his partners must look at him at this moment or the wrath of the universe will fall on them.
LAW # 6: The higher the golfer’s handicap, the more competent the teacher is.
LAW # 7: Every par-three hole in the world secretly wants to offend a golfer. The shorter the hole, the greater the desire.
LAW # 8: 3-iron on top in the bag is the most painful torture known to mankind.
LAW # 9: all trees eat Golf balls.
LAW # 10: Sand is alive. If this is not the case, how do you explain that he is constantly interfering with You?
LAW # 11: Fuel in a Golf cart always ends up in the farthest corner of the course from the clubhouse.
LAW # 12: the golfer who hits the ball in Your group is always bigger than any Of Your group. Conversely, a group that you accidentally hit with a ball will necessarily consist of a bodybuilder, a professional wrestler, a convicted killer, and a special forces officer – or another similar combination.
LAW # 13: all drivers belong to demons.
LAW # 14: Golf Balls from the same box tend to follow each other, especially off the field or into the water (See LAW #3).
LAW # 15: a Hard wrong punch is a thing of amazing strength and beauty.
LAW # 16: Expressions “good leg” can usually be translated as “lousy putt”. Similarly, “that’s so bad luck” usually means “such a light blow failed, loser.”
LAW # 17: the Person you least want to lose to will always win against you.
LAW # 18: the Last three holes in the game will automatically reduce Your score to what it really should be.
LAW # 19: a Golfer must stop playing Golf at least twice a month.
LAW # 20: all vows made on the Golf course must be counted only until sunset.